I've been thinking a lot recently about my next blog: what to write about, where to start, what's going right, nothing, what's going wrong, everything. I'm in a hole. Still in that same hole. Perhaps the hole gives me some strange sort of comfort.
I tried the not drinking again. This has been a struggle. I said to myself I should go for the not drinking for lent thing. I did this last year. I went beyond lent. Maybe that's what I needed. I didn't even last a full 28 days before I had wine, got home at 4am, then at 5am was straight off to Paris for the rugby. I returned home that same evening and slept for 12 hours. Wow.
So I've started again. Again. I have a new plan...however I will write about this separately as it comes from a wonderful human (I've not met her) and her incredible book.
I'm clearly struggling with my head and mental well being. Still. Always. The bad thoughts are continuous. I need to try something else.
I am struggling with running. This is partly through laziness, lack of motivation, through injury (I recently injured myself AGAIN by turning on my ankle AGAIN and keep putting off running), and through illness (*cough* chest infection *cough*). It has seemed as if every time I am ready to head out running again SOMETHING will happen to stop me: the ankle, the illness. Now what.
I wrote a blog for the club a couple of weeks back. You can read this here: MK Marathon Ambassador 2018. I say there how terrible the training is going and what the new plans are. Well these plans have not materialised and I now have two 20 mile events entered for the next two weeks. Crikey.
I've put on MORE weight that it's just...well.
I feel dreadful.
So....to get me back on track and focus on the training, on the marathon, I thought to myself: five things. Think of five things, five reasons why you wanted to run Milton Keynes in the first place, why you want to be an Ambassador for the Marathon, five reasons why I should run. Why anyone should run.
Well in my stress-addled, neglecting to take my medication, mess of a brain, thinking of five things has turned out to be quite the chore. Three things.
Three. Little. Things.
1. The joy
The challenge of running a marathon and the joy in completing one is something else. I know this. I've completed two marathons. Two may not be seen as many. I know a huge number of runners now who have completed countless more, who train harder than I do, members of the 100 marathon club, run ultra marathons. That doesn't matter. I will forever be in awe of those people. I find it incredible. Fascinating. But for me? Just me. I love it. I don't care if I go round in five and half hours. Don't care at all. It's what I will probably always do. But to train for a marathon. To complete it. It's really something else. Completing MK in 2016. Completing Snowdonia last year. I must hold on to that feeling. I can't describe what it is. If you've completed a marathon or any distance or achievement that seemed impossible to you. That joy? I must hold on to that feeling.
2. I love MK
I've told you all before. Milton Keynes was marathon #1 for me. It is my one. It's a great course. The support is fantastic. You finish in a stadium. The medals have cows on them. COWS. I don't need to say anymore.
3. Just run. Just. Run.
54 Days. Come at me, MK.
If anyone has not yet entered Milton Keynes Marathon, Half Marathon or Rocket 5K. Why on earth not?! I have completed all three. The Rocket 5K twice. All excellent. Come join me!
If you don't fancy taking part in the event, then why not volunteer? That way you're not running 26.2 miles, but still get to be a part of the race day experience! Brilliant!
Check out the website here for more information and how to enter: MK Marathon