Ongoing assessments...

...so I had my mental health assessment with the Doc this week.  She is a psychiatrist who works closely with the recovery place.  I think the assessment was slightly different to a normal assessment as it's connected with drinking and recovery etc.  Although I may be wrong, I've never had one before.  Had to do another drug and alcohol test. She asked me lots and lots and LOTS and lots of questions.  I answered the best I could.  There was a lot to discuss and lots more to continue to discuss.

What she said...

I wouldn't benefit from a referral to the mental health service.  They are not equipped to deal with the sort of issues I have.  Sounds scary, it's not.  If possible I should try to see someone privately.

She would like to see me again as I'm "complex and interesting with an infectious smile."  I'm not sure what the smile has to do with it, but I liked it.  Whilst she has ideas of what I could have, she does not want to make a diagnosis without further assessments and finding out more about me, my past, etc. Makes sense. 

She recommended I keep a mood diary of sorts to keep an eye on my triggers, episodes, and my reactions.  

She would prefer to see me when I'm three to six months sober as it would give a clearer picture of my mind.

Where do I go from here...

My initial reaction was to cry.  In my naivety I thought I'd be given an answer straight away.  Of course that wasn't going to happen   I know that now.  And after talking to some people about it, I realised it is all a positive progression.  She had ideas, but of course she can't diagnose me straight away.

This gives me another reason to stay sober for longer.  If I want answers and want to deal with my silly, little head then I have to keep it clear. 

Keeping the diary is daunting, but good.  I don't like to address my issues, but if I want these answers, I'm going to have to.  As much as I enjoy writing and obviously telling you all about my goings on, writing down what's ACTUALLY happening in my head.....this is where I'd be reaching for the wine. 

I bought myself a pretty looking diary which I hope will help me reach for it:

Nice, isn't it?

Lorraine, my keyworker, was happy.  She sat in with me and the Doc.  She saw it all as positive and said now I've met the Doc, we can all work together, and next time I see her I will be on my own if I'm comfortable with her.  Aiming to see the Doc again before Snowdonia, around the 100 day mark I think.

So that's that.  Until then, it's doing the above, keep not drinking, keep seeing Lorraine every two weeks, try to focus on training....

I've managed to set myself some October challenges which seem impossible with the injury-ridden year I've had, however I'm close to having my foot pretty much sorted - lots of physio, rehab, strengthening core...foot recovery (this is another story).

And that's it for now.  I'll make sure my next post is all about running!  In the meantime, why not have a look at my October challenges on my JustGiving Page to see what I'm doing and why.  

Day 53.

TTFN!