My First Sober Wedding

Saturday.  Day 55.  I wake up.  Shit.  I'm going to a wedding today.

Weddings are a drinker's paradise.  An excuse to get drunk, binge all day, whilst everyone around you is doing the same.  You won't (or shouldn't) stand out.  You're drunk.  Everyone is drunk!  It's a wedding.  It's a time of celebration.  That means drinking.

I may well be exaggerating, but there is no denying that weddings and drinking go hand in hand.  Every wedding I've ever been too, people drink, some too much, lots of fun, lots of tears, headaches in the morning.

My own experience at weddings, particularly recently, is to get as drunk as possible. 

Example 1

At a wedding in Australia.  Australian weddings have a HUGE break following the ceremony.  So me and a couple of others went to a hotel.  Drank ALL the cocktails.  At the wedding breakfast there was lots and lots and LOTS and lots of wine.  Free wine.  I don't remember much else apart from throwing up over a wall outside a casino and waking up still in my dress.  

Examples 2 and 3

A wedding reception last year and a wedding a week later. I was already hungover and delicate following the running club awards night the night before (this is another story, but essentially involved me getting drunk before I arrived, turning up late, pretty trashed and getting others to do shots - even worse, as I was relatively new, no one knew who I was! Maybe that was better...anyway...!).  Get to the reception.  Immediately start drinking - someone else's beer.  I then spent the majority of the evening getting anyone who'd listen to do shots.  The same thing happened at the second wedding.  All day drinking followed by me getting everyone to do shots.  I'm sensing a theme here.

This wedding had the same group of people from Examples 2 and 3.  These are JB's friends, really.  They have only ever known me as drunk JG, but they follow my stories, and are extremely supportive of what I'm doing.  I love them dearly.

I confessed to one that I was hoping to get out of going.  I knew I was going to want to drink all day.  And it's all I thought about.  It was tough.  We jumped in the car with two of our friends who took us there and we got to a pub across the road from the hotel for a quick bite.  A pub...well of course I wanted a glass of wine.  It's a wedding day!  Nope...JB ordered and asked the barman what alcohol free they had.  Becks Blue.  Disappointing, but I had it.  I also ate.  I wasn't particularly hungry, but a good distraction to stop the alcohol cravings? Food.  Just eat.  You'll see a theme as the day goes on...

We got to the hotel to check in and change.  I scoped out the bar - Becks Blue again.  Hmmfph.  This is going to be even harder.    

Once changed and ready it was time to sit in the ceremony.  I was getting anxious and didn't want to be there.  In the end I tried to focus, to ground myself.  Then the music started.  This bit was surprisingly easy.   I saw JB keeping an eye on the groom (his friend) so I did the same...to see how he would look when the future Mrs C would walk down the aisle.  He was already nervous.  Then his little boy came walking down and he just went!  And the look on the face when the bride came in.  Incredible.  It was beautiful to see and calmed me down instantly.

The biggest challenges were yet to come...

We all leave the ceremony and of course there's some drinks on the go.  Pimms?  Wine? Bellini? (My absolutely favourite!)  Fruit shoot?  Oh dear.  Oh no, orange juice.  I grab myself and my pregnant friend an orange juice each - we're safe!  It was nice having her around not drinking also!  We stuck together!

Onto the wedding breakfast and I'm surrounded by free wine on the table and then flutes of fizz were brought out for the toasts.  Before I could refuse, one was planted in front of me.  Shit.  JB was on hand though and I passed it to him.  I was still anxious, obviously, and thankfully the table had some interesting nibbles before the meal came out....each guest had crisps!  The tables were named after crisps.  Each guest then had those crisps all wrapped up neatly at their seat.  Amazing.  Our table was Tangy Toms.  I've never heard of Tangy Toms.  They were scrummy.  Scrummy scrummy.  Munched through those and then JB's as well as he didn't like them! Other tables included Chipsticks, Frazzles, Monster Munch and the top table....Pringles. Superb.  See...food is a distraction.

Another wonderful aspect of this particular wedding was that the speeches were straight away when we sat down.  Before we started eating.  I toasted with my water.  And that was that.  

From then on, it was easier and easier not to drink.  I had some amazing veggie food.  The bar had Rose Lemonade when I got fed up of Becks Blue.  And I ate two slices of cheesecake for pudding, one in 27 seconds, just...because.

Everyone else around me was getting pretty merry, which was wonderful to see still.  I encouraged a fair few to do their shots.  Which they did.  Then once it got to about 9pm, I thought to myself...What's the point in drinking now?  So I didn't...easy!

I was only asked once by someone I didn't know why I wasn't drinking.  "Oh I'm just not drinking" "But why?" Sigh. "I'm training for a marathon" "Ah brilliant" *end of conversation*     I was worried about people asking.  As much as I am open on here to anyone on the internet reading this, ask me about it in person, and I will shrivel up.  But there was nothing to be worried about.  No one actually cares why I'm not drinking.  It's my choice.  It's my decision.  I'm sharing my journey.  Give them an answer they're satisfied with and it's done.  Maybe at some point in the future when I'm more comfortable in my own skin (if that ever happens), I would explain more, but then...is there any need to a stranger at a wedding?  That's a separate issue.

And that was it.  I ate, I danced, I drank soft drinks and had the best time.  It was an amazing wedding. Thank you Mr and Mrs C!  

I went to sleep happy.  Woke up early.  Felt completely content and just that little bit smug as everyone else was suffering.  Happy days.